I’ll never forget the
article in that magazine. It was one of those glossy teen magazines, loaded
with quizzes about how to know if your crush likes you back and what your
flirting style is. Real serious stuff.
But the article title was
so timely: “What your twenties are all about!”
I certainly didn’t want to
mess up my next decade. So I absorbed each word: “Your twenties are all about
discovering who you are. Don’t be afraid to try new things, like salsa dancing!
That’s the only way to find yourself.”
So I set off for college with
a goal to find myself. Now here I am, inching closer to 30. And that silly
article was right about one thing: I have learned so much about myself in this
decade. But it wasn’t because I tried salsa dancing. It was through real, hard-fought
life experience.
Here is what my twenties
have actually been about.
Ripping up the plan
Most of my friends had a
similar plan to mine: degree, marriage, career, and a family by age 23. And
when it didn’t happen in that exact timeframe, I was confused. But it wasn’t me
that was broken – it was my inflexible plan. It’s good to have goals, but I
realized that my twenties were about learning that life happens and that I had
to make a new plan.
Letting go of friendships
I thought I’d stay close
friends with every single friend I made in high school and college. But guess
what? We become busy. We move away. We have other priorities. I’ve had to make
peace with the fact that, besides a few close friends, I’ve lost contact with
most of those great people. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean those friendships
weren’t real. It just means that they were put in my life for a specific amount
of time.
The world doesn’t owe me anything
In high school, I thought
if I worked hard enough, got good grades, and did really well in college, the
jobs would come knocking. It turns out, there were a lot of equally talented,
hard working, and accomplished people out there. The world didn’t owe me a
dream job just because I did well in school. I needed to prove my value to an
employer, not the other way around.
Making peace with the past
A couple of years ago, I
couldn’t stop thinking about a mistake I made when I was 10 years old. Yes, you
read that right. 10 years old. There
was a girl on the playground who was getting teased by the school bully. I
didn’t say anything because I was afraid of getting teased too, so I just stood
by. That haunted me. So at the age of 25, I decided to look up that person on
Facebook and send her an apology. She never responded, though I don’t really
blame her. After all, she had probably forgotten all about me and about the
incident 15 years before. But I felt better anyway for trying to make amends,
and I’ve moved on. Everyone has baggage to some degree, and your twenties are
about confronting it so you don’t have to take it to your thirties.
It’s not too late to chase the dream
I always wanted to do a
semester abroad during my undergrad, but it never worked out. I thought I
missed that boat when I graduated, but I decided to look into grad schools
abroad. It definitely wasn’t what I planned, but it was infinitely better.
Nostalgia
I love those stupid
Buzzfeed articles like, ‘Toys that every 90’s kid remembers’ and ‘Disney
Channel shows that shaped your childhood.’ It’s so fun to talk to other people
my age and reminisce about the good old days. The days when you would call the
radio station, request your favorite song, then wait with your cassette tape
recorder and hit ‘stop’ before the DJ talks at the end. Nostalgia is the only
way to combat that horrible ancient feeling you get when you realize the
16-year-old intern at work was born in the year Y2K.
There is evil, but I shouldn’t be afraid
The world seems like a
scary, heartless, cold place sometimes. Horrible people do horrible things. But
I’ve realized lately that every generation has had to confront terror and
atrocity. My grandparents lived through WWII. My parents’ generation had
Vietnam and the Cold War. Despite the terrible things that are happening, I
believe what my grandma always said – there is more good in the world than bad.
Stop comparing myself
Life isn’t a contest. My
life isn’t any less legitimate or successful because I don’t own a house yet.
Or a functional car. Or children. Someday I’d love to have all of those things,
but it just isn’t time yet. I am so happy for people who do, but I can’t
compare my chapter of life to theirs. My life is perfect for me, and God has given me just what I need.
Ultimately as I look back
on this decade so far, I am grateful that life turned out exactly as it was
supposed to be. Now to prepare for my thirties. Any recommendations for good
magazine articles?
